How is it that people always want to be someone or want to do something but it seems as if we never completely become the people that we are so longing to become? Why are we always questioning what is going to happen or what god wants for us ; or more often then not what we want for our selfs not even consider god or his plan? Why do most people have the hardest time trusting in god the one person who is completely faithful? Why do we hid behind our insicurities and flaws when knowingly we realize everyone has them?

This year I want to work on being a better version of myself. I want to be more loving, kind, open, excepting, advertures, and trusting. I want to be valunable and fearless. I want to trust and believe completely in god and his plan for me. I want to pray more. I want to be less hard on my self, I want to look in the mirror less and just do my best to be myself day in and day out! I'm tired of think about the person I want to be and not actually being that person!

Not allowing the little things in life become big things is one of the most difficult things we will ever do.

Every time I wake up late.
Every rainy day.
Every bad test.
Every tear shed.


Are nothing compared to..........


Every laugh laughed.
Every song sung.
Every smile received.
Every prayer answered.

con⋅trol

 

–verb (used with object)

1.	to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.

2.	to hold in check; curb: to control a horse; to control one's emotions.

3.	to test or verify (a scientific experiment) by a parallel experiment or other standard of comparison.

4.	to eliminate or prevent the flourishing or spread of: to control a forest fire.

5.	Obsolete. to check or regulate (transactions), originally by means of a duplicate register.

–noun

6.	the act or power of controlling; regulation; domination or command: Who's in control here?

7.	the situation of being under the regulation, domination, or command of another: The car is out of control.

8.	check or restraint: Her anger is under control.

9.	a legal or official means of regulation or restraint: to institute wage and price controls.

10.	a standard of comparison in scientific experimentation.

11.	a person who acts as a check; controller.

12.	a device for regulating and guiding a machine, as a motor or airplane.

13.	controls, a coordinated arrangement of such devices.

14.	prevention of the flourishing or spread of something undesirable: rodent control.

Control is what I need to let go off.
I need to stop trying to dictate my own life and give it up to God.
My desperate need to control my life and my surrounding is getting in the way of me expanding my relationship with God.
It is exhausting to try and make everything in your life the way you want it.
Im tired of thinking of all of the things that would make my life perfect.
I want to start realizing that life is life....

the sweet beautiful mess that we are sorrowed with is life.
Life never goes away.
Life changes everyday starting with the different shades of the sun shine.

I want to stop being a prisoner of myself. A slave of control. I just want to live my lovely life.

Emotions are something I do not understand any more.
I never realized what a verbal person I am until I have no one to talk to.
I'm home sick.
I miss my mom.
I miss my little brother.
I miss my dad.
It's hard but God is teaching me so much.
I am growing so much in my faith.
Im learning things about myself that i never new.
Its going to be cold tomorrow.
I just want it to be warm for a little longer.
I wore a sun dress today cause I know that it might be the last time I get to for a while.
Today was a good day.
I am so blessed.
I just miss everything that I am used to and I have never been good at change.
God is pushing me.
He wants me to open myself up to the world.
A world that is so beautiful.
A world that I had my eyes closed to for a long time.